As a first-time mom, I was haunted by the constant warnings that my vagina would never be the same after giving birth. I heard countless (unsolicited, of course) traumatic birth stories and aggressive opinions about delivery methods. On top of all that, I was led to believe that the sexiest years of my life had already passed me by.
Like most people who are pregnant for the first time, I was obsessed with reading all the books and learning all the things, so I was intentional with how I chose to experience both my pregnancy and my birth. I was also, at the time, about as crunchy as they come. I was vegan, didn’t drink any coffee, and stayed active. While I giggle at that phase of my life during which I thought eggs, meats, and cheese were a cardinal sin, I realized later that I did make two really solid choices: I practiced prenatal yoga and got a weekly adjustment from my chiropractor for almost my entire pregnancy.
Prenatal yoga, it turns out, is great for your pelvic floor, which are a group of muscles in your pelvis attached to the abdomen. The practice helps strengthen those muscles in preparation for birth, and can improve physical recovery post-childbirth. Prenatal chiropractic care can help women have “a natural and noninvasive birth,” according to Healthline.
I just wanted to prepare my body as best I could for a vaginal birth. What I never realized is that it also set me up for a very good postpartum experience. Specifically, it improved sex.
In my single days, when I first started to indulge in sex toys, I was pretty much exclusively a vibrator gal. My vaginal orgasms were few and far in between, and I mostly climaxed from my clitoral stimulation. I tried dildos, but they just didn’t do it for me — it was too much work. Even my best partners really had to break a sweat to make me climax.
But after I had my son and reached the stage where sex was fun again, I noticed that it didn’t take me much to get going. This was new for me.
I chalked it up to acclimating to regular sex without the watermelon-sized belly, or maybe the postpartum hormones. It wasn’t until I decided to self-pleasure after my divorce that I really explored my vagina. That’s when I realized that — metaphorically speaking — all the furniture in the room was moved around, and I liked this new configuration a whole lot better.
First, my vaginal opening was definitely bigger, but not in the way I was imagining. Yes, for me, the “hotdog down the hallway” term is an exaggeration, thank God. While mine was a bit more open now, some mothers report having the opposite: tighter vaginas because of the stitches they get from vaginal tearing. Since I had between a first and second-degree tear, I didn’t need as many stitches. I healed so well that my midwife said the inside of my vagina looked like it had never given birth.
As I continued exploring, I realized that my sensitivity had increased, and it was because my G-spot had shifted lower — winner, winner, chicken dinner! Before having my kid, my G-spot was tucked in, taking more work to get to it. Now, I had discovered that it was accessible practically right at my vaginal opening. So, I immediately bought a dildo.
I went from occasional vaginal orgasms to guaranteed ones, every time.
Turns out, I’m kind of a unicorn, as most women experience the opposite post-birth. So I spoke with female pelvic health expert and urogynecologist, Dr. Michael Ingber, MD, who explained, “Because anatomy can change after pregnancy and childbirth, it’s possible that the G-spot can move along with the bladder and other organs. In some cases, if the bladder drops a bit, the G-spot can also drop, and become more ‘accessible’ in some cases.” But, he added, “We tend to see many of the women who have had the opposite effects.”
So take it from me: Just because you’re prepared for sex to suck doesn’t mean it necessarily will. And if you can, take good care of your pelvic floor before and after childbirth. Your sex life will thank you.
Krystal is a part-time writer for Scary Mommy and has a pulse on all things entertainment, pregnancy, and parenting news and lifestyle. She is a freelance writer for various parenting and lifestyle brands and is the Founder of her own parenting blog, The Unconventional Mom. Krystal has a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from UMass Lowell and has been a closet novelist since 2013.